10 Tips To Facing Divorce - Divorce, for most people, is not an option to overcome relationship problems. But not a few are also couples who eventually chose to divorce. If you are experiencing similar things, do the following 10 ways that divorce did not end up a disaster. At least, you can still maintain a good relationship with your ex-spouse, especially with consideration of child care still need affection and attention of both parents.
1. Give time to yourself
However divorce affects your psyche. Your reaction to something will change, your needs and interests will also experience a shift. For that, you need time to self organize themselves. Wake up clear rules and boundaries with your ex-spouse, especially to create a parenting on children. Let your natural walking post-deforce friendship.
2. Carefully select the mediator and attorney
Divorce is costly to pay a lawyer. However, you can cut costs by paying only the services of a mediator if the communication with the former spouse is running fine. This means that divorce is a joint decision that was well received by both. However, in conditions of a bad relationship, even a conflict, the lawyer becomes the most appropriate mediator, although you have to spend more money for this.
3. Write the child-care planning and talk directly
focus on what is best for children when designing and writing post-deforce parenting. Imagine your child's feelings when reading a written parenting plan clearly is. If the child is old enough, talk with them. Say that you and your ex-spouse will work as a team in caring for them. Interests of children need to become a major focus on all your interests and ex-spouse.
4. Believe it is okay, but always verify
The agreement was acceptable to both sides need to be written. For example, Agreement on child cares. Make sure all the agreements made in writing clearly. This is where the importance of why the divorce need a lawyer who acts as mediator. Issues such as money and parenting require a written agreement.
5. Preparing for change
Failure to undergo the deal post-deforce sometimes inevitable. Friction still will remain between you and your ex-husband, especially with regard to childcare. Be prepared with the conditions that will change later. At least make plans to minimize failures, for example by writing in detail about the deal you make with your ex-spouse. Make sure all parties understand clearly.
6. Be cooperative
When one party violates the agreement, try to understand his condition. Find out and find solutions together why the agreement is violated. Primarily related to parenting. Make sure, the interests of children above all else.
7. Avoid the old pattern of relationships
Post-divorce part of recovery is no longer responsible for your ex-spouse, family, or anything associated with it personally. Even with him against you. You have to get away from him, including not using the old relationship pattern, meaning does not ask for support from former spouse to your personal problems.
8. Let the transformed relationship
You will feel lonely and lost, sunk even after divorce. But this is only temporary, and in time your relationship will be healthy again. At least you and your ex-spouse could be good friends, especially in terms of childcare. Let the natural flow relationships and transform into a healthier post-deforce.
9. Spend time together as a family
When your relationship is healthy or feeling post-deforce, spend some time together as a family. Go out to dinner with the children and former spouse do fine. The goal is to show your child that his parents still care. As a family, you can still get together.
10. Do not present the new
When assembled with the children and former spouse, make sure no one else or a new figure in your relationship or a husband. Although children are teenagers, they will be confused by the presence of this new person. Be sure to focus on the family unit without a stranger in it.
1. Give time to yourself
However divorce affects your psyche. Your reaction to something will change, your needs and interests will also experience a shift. For that, you need time to self organize themselves. Wake up clear rules and boundaries with your ex-spouse, especially to create a parenting on children. Let your natural walking post-deforce friendship.
2. Carefully select the mediator and attorney
Divorce is costly to pay a lawyer. However, you can cut costs by paying only the services of a mediator if the communication with the former spouse is running fine. This means that divorce is a joint decision that was well received by both. However, in conditions of a bad relationship, even a conflict, the lawyer becomes the most appropriate mediator, although you have to spend more money for this.
3. Write the child-care planning and talk directly
focus on what is best for children when designing and writing post-deforce parenting. Imagine your child's feelings when reading a written parenting plan clearly is. If the child is old enough, talk with them. Say that you and your ex-spouse will work as a team in caring for them. Interests of children need to become a major focus on all your interests and ex-spouse.
4. Believe it is okay, but always verify
The agreement was acceptable to both sides need to be written. For example, Agreement on child cares. Make sure all the agreements made in writing clearly. This is where the importance of why the divorce need a lawyer who acts as mediator. Issues such as money and parenting require a written agreement.
5. Preparing for change
Failure to undergo the deal post-deforce sometimes inevitable. Friction still will remain between you and your ex-husband, especially with regard to childcare. Be prepared with the conditions that will change later. At least make plans to minimize failures, for example by writing in detail about the deal you make with your ex-spouse. Make sure all parties understand clearly.
6. Be cooperative
When one party violates the agreement, try to understand his condition. Find out and find solutions together why the agreement is violated. Primarily related to parenting. Make sure, the interests of children above all else.
7. Avoid the old pattern of relationships
Post-divorce part of recovery is no longer responsible for your ex-spouse, family, or anything associated with it personally. Even with him against you. You have to get away from him, including not using the old relationship pattern, meaning does not ask for support from former spouse to your personal problems.
8. Let the transformed relationship
You will feel lonely and lost, sunk even after divorce. But this is only temporary, and in time your relationship will be healthy again. At least you and your ex-spouse could be good friends, especially in terms of childcare. Let the natural flow relationships and transform into a healthier post-deforce.
9. Spend time together as a family
When your relationship is healthy or feeling post-deforce, spend some time together as a family. Go out to dinner with the children and former spouse do fine. The goal is to show your child that his parents still care. As a family, you can still get together.
10. Do not present the new
When assembled with the children and former spouse, make sure no one else or a new figure in your relationship or a husband. Although children are teenagers, they will be confused by the presence of this new person. Be sure to focus on the family unit without a stranger in it.
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